LOVE FOUND ME...CAN I SAY NO?

A lot of young people want to know when is the right time to enter into a relationship? as frequent as that question comes, I really find it hard that they ask, because more often than not, they never heed to the answer that comes. People don't really care about such things, they believe love will find you at any time, any where, with that kind of mindset, it will be hard to say no to love when it does come, don't you think?


I do believe that we don't plan love, that love can actually find you, but my problem is, what about the numerous people who are not ready for love, what happens to them even when like they say, ''love found me''?

Its not about love finding you, the question is are you ready for love? this is not a question of age, but that of maturity, do you have what it takes to start a relationship? dear if you are not ready for the maturity that every relationship requires, tell love, thank you, not now and also tell the bringer of love, No.

The first thing I tell people, especially young ones is that, you just don't enter a relationship anytime you find a suitable person, trust me, you will see many of them, the question is are you ready to be in one?. some people are too young to even be thinking of relationship, others are not emotionally mature, while others are hurting from one emotional pain or breakup and so that puts them in a position where they are not a candidate to be in a relationship.
      when you make up your mind about when to be in a relationship and what you want from a relationship, that gives you a focus and ample time for you to prepare. Don't just let love pick you up and put you in a relationship when you are not ready for it, you have the power to make the choices in your life, not some external force you have no power over. for instance if you're not going to get married in the next9 to 10 years, what exactly are you entering a relationship for? is a relationship only for people who wants to get married? you may ask, if you re not thinking of a destination, so why then are you in a relationship? do you just hope to be in a relationship for thrills sake, maybe someone to kiss or touch or just to have sex with? that's the popular idea of what a relationship is all about in this century, but that's the wrong idea, its popular, but its wrong.

When you enter a relationship and you do not have a destination in mind, then its simply for selfish reasons, is that not the reason so many people complain of heart breaks?, most of the heart breaks usually come from people who don't have a clue as to why they are in a relationship. they like the guy/girl and so they feel that's enough reason, at the end of the day, issues arises, someone leaves and what do we have, hurts and pain.

The bible says in the songs of Solomon: do not awaken love till its time, because this man of wisdom knows what he is talking about, there are certain things you need to put into consideration before jumping into a relationship, amongst many are:
1  ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY MATURE?
2  ARE YOU READY TO COMMITT TO THAT PERSON?
3 WHY ARE YOU ENTERING THE RELATIONSHIP?
4 DO YOU SEE A DESTINATION FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP?
5 HAVE YOU PRAYED ABOUT IT?

The Last Fling ll

Alice: Hey Sandy, Sandy! oh sorry,
Sandra: Alice what's up?,
Alice: I have been trying to get your attention ever since, you seem to be lost in thought, any problem?.
Sandra: Not at all.
Alice: What is your plan after work today?
Sandra: Nothing serious she said, even as she could hear heart beat so loud she feared others could. Alice: So will you be up for a movie? or you've got plans with the groom?.
Sandra: Huh!, no, I really do not have any plan, but ill pass, thanks Alice, maybe next time.

Larry was in his house thinking of how the day would go, he had come to really be fond of Sandra, what exactly did he want from this girl? he asked himself, he was sure about it...he loved her and he was going to tell her that today, although she had always seem to shy away from deep emotional talk, he was not sure exactly what the issue is, her emotional life seem closed up, is she in a toxic relationship? or going through an emotional pain?, has she been heart broken? but then, she had never mentioned anything about any relationship to him, if she was, she would have verbalized it. He knew the chemistry between them is really strong and no doubt she likes him, what he cant say is, if she is in love with him. as a beautiful girl, with very lovely character he was sure she had loads of guys disturbing her, is that why she always seem distracted, sometimes he would ping her on her bb and it would take hours before she responds, his fear for today was how he was going to try not to touch her, he finds her so attractive, of course she wouldn't want that, he thought, why was he thinking of these things anyway, he was going to tell her how much she means to him and the need for them to take this friendship to another level.......

Jude was planning how the day would go, he had a plan to give Sandra a surprise visit after work and take her out to a lovely restaurant, The restaurant was new in town and situated close to the lagoon, he was sure she was going to love it. he wanted them to be alone and have some time to talk, she had seem a bit distant and always looking lost for quite some time now, he feels the toil of the upcoming wedding was getting to her, he knew it was going to be a hard thing for her to leave her family like that, they are tightly knitted together, but he didn't see how seeing them afterward would be a problem. Anyways, today he was going to assure her that everything was going to be okay.


Usually Sandra closes by 5 pm, but today she decided to leave by 4:30, she decided to walk down the stairs instead of using the elevator, she didn't want to think, but at the same time she found herself thinking, she put her hear piece on as she clicked play on her ipod. Taxi! she yelled, she got in and off she went.

When she got down, from the taxi, she looked to confirm the number of the address, it was right, number 63. she could feel her heart racing, she paused for a while, took a deep breath, removed her engagement ring and proceeded, why is she going there she asked herself, lost in thought, and she replied because he is my friend and I can visit anyone I want, almost as if she and someone were talking. she rang the door bell, waited for a while and did again, she heard Larry's voice saying ill be right there. He opened the door smelling of a very nice after shave, with his skin clear like he just had his bath. He was wearing a white fitted T shirt and khakis, They hugged each other for almost a minute, that kind of hug that made the room silent, yet was screaming out so many other emotions. with the question :how was your day, came other discussion and they went on and on.

As the conversation went on, she could feel the pain in his eyes, even as his eyes was moist by the upcoming tears, he was talking about his childhood and how his father used to mal treat his mother, she felt like she should lift away the pain he was feeling, she reached out to touch him on the shoulder, he reached out back to her and they held each other in a close embrace and in the next two seconds, they were kissing each other so passionately, different thoughts going on in their different minds, kissing getting deep, soon positions were changed and things were getting more heated, soon tops were off and it got even hotter... At this point they were almost naked and he whispered into her ears, should I go on? she said yes, then NO!, then Yes. He stopped the kiss and said he doesn't want to complicate the relationship, that he would rather use protection, she nodded and said ok.

So he dashed out of the house to a nearby shop, but couldn't get any, he called a taxi to take him to the nearest mall, not so far.

Jude got to Sandra's office only to be told that she left early, he tried her number severally, it was switched off, he was scared and hoped nothing was wrong, he didn't want to call anyone at her house, he called Mary her closest friend, she didn't know of her whereabouts either, but Mary told him to check a certain place where they both used to like to go, it was a solitary place where jazz and poetry was played, she liked to go there, it helped her cool off, Jude was on his way, but was held in traffic, which even made the situation more frustrating. Suddenly he heard a sound, it was the door of a cab, it hit and scratched his car, in annoyance he wound down to give the person a piece of his mind. What the hell...Larry!!! what in the world are you doing here?

Larry and Jude had been friends during their university days in los Angelis in the U S, Larry jumped into the car and they began to talk, there was a lot he wanted to say to Jude he said, but Jude should help him get to the mall where he wanted to get something. when he got into the car, he began explaining to Jude how he thinks he is in love with a certain girl, who is in his house right now, but he isn't sure of how things are going as a matter of fact the evening had been a little bit steamy and that he had jumped out before the sex started to get a condom, but he wanted more than sex with the girl.....

Sandra thought Larry wanted to get the condom maybe in the next room or somewhere in the house, but he had taken longer than usual, so she realized he had gone out to get one, she switched on the T V and surfing through when she saw a programmed titled SKOOL OF MARRIAGE, and someone saying something like:'' Whatever you do before your marriage is the foundation you build your union upon''. All the turmoil she had been feeling rose to the surface, she started asking herself: what am I doing here? why am I doing this? she realized she had gone too far and she just imagined how betrayed Jude would feel if he ever got a  wind of this, how could she be so stupid, what else did she want, she didn't know how things had spiral out of control, she started sobbing profusely, she felt so ashamed and sad, the fact that she would have had sex if there was a condom scared her beyond reasoning, she never thought she was capable of such actions, she put on her clothes and wore back her shoe, with tears streaming down her face. should she go and then call him afterwards or wait to explain to Larry that she didn't want all this and that she was engaged to someone. she decided she was going to..........

Jude was enthralled by the present story of his long time friend and that helped distract him a bit from his own predicament, he had driven Larry back to his apartment, packed outside as they continued their conversation, Jude told him to take it slow and tell the girl what he really wanted and that they can do without the sex, he told him of how the girl he would be marrying in the next five month was such a blessing, they had had sex once, but never again after they asked for forgiveness, Larry thanked him, they exchanged numbers and Jude starts the car to move. He had moved just a little bit forward when Larry flagged him down, he reversed and Larry said, you know what, I would like you to meet this girl, she is such a gem, okay no problem Jude said as he came down from the car.

    Larry went in before Jude, just to make sure Sandra was decent, he found her already dressed and crying like a little girl, as he bent down to look at her face and ask what the problem was, Jude walked in and said is all okay, Sandra and Larry looked up and in a minute Sandra was frozen,
Jude: Sandra!!! where have you been? sorry what is wrong?
Larry: this is the lady I ve been....you know her?

Sandra just stayed there crying and whispering, oh! what have I done to myself?
Jude: Larry is this the lady you were talking to me about?
Larry: Yes, you know her?
Jude: yes, this is my fiancé

Jude couldn't help the tears that began to flow down his cheeks, Sandra why? why did you do this? and he stormed out of the house and drove off

 Larry: is that true? is he your fiancé?
Sandra nodded yes as she kept on crying, she picked up her bag, looked at confused Larry, with tears in her eyes, said am sorry and left.......


THANK YOU FOR READING.....Please kindly drop your comments


This story can in no way be altered or reproduced without the permission of Single2Married skoolofmarriage skoolofmarriage@gmail.com / kaycast1@gmail.com. thank You.


 

The Last Fling

It was just about 5 months before her wedding, six moths away from the day she said yes, looking down at him as he bent on one knee to propose to her, in her favorite exotic restaurant. Here she was at a moment in her life where everything was going wonderful for her, but there was something else throbbing at her heart, she had come to be fond of Larry, a guy she met at lunch few moths back, they had met while ordering lunch and exchanged pleasantries, they sat together and they had a nice conversation, at the end of the meal, they exchanged phone numbers and Blackberry pin and almost immediately had started a witty conversation, starting from place of work to every other thing about life, this soon became a frequent thing,

   Larry was almost like Jude her fiancé, charming and good looking, sometimes she felt they even sounded similar, except that Larry had soft eyes she couldn't really explain, but those eyes had warmth and compassion. From his talks, it was obvious he cared about family and hope to settle down soon to start one of his own.


No doubt she was madly in love with Jude her fiancé, but she had also found out, she was fond of and attracted to Larry, although she was not confused as to who to choose, she knew Jude would make her a happy woman, yet she couldn't explain the feelings she was having for Larry.

She had been a good girl all her life, cant she at least have a selfish passion for once she thought, she had pondered on this line of thought for some weeks now, the feeling erupted when Larry gave her a hug after she came back from a one week trip she had last month, that hug had sent strange signals down and spine, whatever it was she couldn't explain, but it brought excitement. Now, she thought, I am going to get married in the next few months and that is it?!!!, no escapades, or fling or secret passion.


She had promised to see Larry who was on leave, in his home after work, as the day went by, her thoughts were conflicting and her heart raced fast at the possibility of the days out come, of course she was not planning to do anything stupid, just wants to see a friend she thought.......................

TO BE CONTINUED.....................................

PHILOSOPHY...you've got one?

 A man who beats a woman might not be able to express in words the reason why he does so, but it is embedded in a philosophy, such as '' a man must always make a woman submit''. Such man will never change no matter how sorry he may be, simply because there is a philosophy underneath that produces such actions, to change this man, you would have to first help him change his philosophy.

Anytime people hear philosophy, they immediately think about the ancient Greeks and its famous thinkers like Aristotle and Plato, but that's not all there is about philosophy, for definitions you can simply click on Google, there are numerous. To narrow it down to my aim, lets see philosophy as the underlining reason why you do what you do.
 
Everybody has got a reason for doing what they do, but most people can not lay a firm hold on these reasons and so they tell you, this is who I am, but the question is; why do you act the way you do? If a woman never feels obliged to help a man financially, it is so because somewhere she has a philosophy that says a man should take total financial responsibility of his home and if he fails, somehow she resents him and think he is not capable of being a man.

it is important to know the philosophy you have that creates the actions you portray in your life and relationship, you should have a philosophy that guides every area of your life : relationship, career, life, business...For me here are some of the philosophy that guides me:

PERSONAL: STRIVE FOR EXELLENCE IN EVERTHING I DO
RELATIONSHIP: ALWAYS CONSIDER MY PARTNER BEFORE ME
CARRER: ALWAYS GO THE EXTRA MILE
BUSINESS: PROFER SOLUTIONS TO NEEDS BEFORE THINKING OF PROFIT.....

If you find out you have a negative philosophy that produces wrong actions, it is time to kick it out and create a new one, write out the new one and read it every time, don't just read it, begin to practice it, its very easy to become what you look at regularly, so don't stop till you become it.

Thank you for reading, kindly drop a comment.
 

Why i do what i do

I didn't just wake up one morning and decided I want to start talking about relationship and marriage, the idea came from God and I know I am just a channel for His words, I am here sent by God to help people who seek to have a good and godly union, those hurting, confused and need direction, those who need to follow the path to relationship/marital bliss, I am also here to learn, learn from God and the experiences of others. just so you know:

The purpose of skoolofmarriage is to help build and Educate singles/married on the principles guiding co-existence, in other to build wholesome and lasting marriages....


Comments and ideas will be appreciated, for more personal discussion or counseling, you can send a mail to skoolofmarriage@gmail.com or kaycast1@gmail.com Thank You, Much love #S2M